Potential

When you meet someone and begin to see them as being more than a friend how do you rate their 'potential'? Do you see it in a very pratical way, basing said potential on cold, hard facts?
(ex: has a good job=can support me)
(ex: great bone structure, fabulous green eyes=will make beautiful children)

Or are you more of a romantic optimist, judging potentiality based on how they make you feel when you see them?

(ex: you get nervous butterflies in stomach upon sight of said person= this feeling will never wear off)

(ex: well, s/he tolerates my incessant ramblings about how the Boston Red Sox really are cursed/clothing I made for my cat/my collection of clown figurines*= they must love me)

I strive for the something in the middle-that they have a stable job that does not leave them miserable, and my children's father have straight hair so that at least my kids will get a fighting chance in humid weather. There is something to be said for meeting someone whom I like to be around and feel a slight longing upon the date ending (not in a stalker-like way, but in an I-want-to-stay-up-and-talk-with-you-until-4am way).

*I have none of these collections/obsessions

Ten commandments

Michael Feldstein's Ten Commandments for Married People is written for with an audience of Orthodox Jews in mind, but his advice is really applicable for any married couple with single friends.



Dating today is an odd experience. Some people are simply looking to get some ass. It'd be nice if they were upfront about that. Nothing worse than talking to someone online, chatting away, when BAM! They break out some lame line trying to get you to cyber with them.
Or they harass you with probing questions and then seem surprised when you get annoyed.

An example (his lines in color):

: im ok
: are u up for a chat ?
: are we talking soul searching, meanign of life? or lite chatting?
: what ever u want .
: I thought for a moment that u was busy .
: I am multi-tasking
: I see
: is that a problem?
: I will love 2 chat with u . So where are u from ?
: are u married ? (a little odd, but acceptable)
: was u born in the us ? (who are you, the INS?)
: you like to ask many questions. Are you a lawyer ? Or a detective? (as I try to be polite about them)
: no im not
: im only a guy who really wants 2 get 2 know u better. That's all.
: so do u still wanna chat or what ?
: the questions just are a bit personal for the beginning of a "getting to know u" conversation


Coupling up seems such an important thing in society (let's not even get into the biological side of this). Are things really better now than they used to be , back before the feminist/cultural/gender/queer revolution of the 1960's? Or are they just more confusing? (Having been born at the end of the disco era I do not feel qualified to answer, as I do not remember a time before the advent of cable, much less the social upheaval of the Woodstock era).

Online dating woes

I will admit to experimenting with the adventure that is online dating. I have made some nice friends along the way. Most people out there in the date-o-sphere are nice. But every once in a while an email comes along that makes me both do a full body shudder at the weirdness quotient yet simultaneously laugh at the absurdity contained within.

Example as follows (all names, details, etc changed to protect the innocent). My comments are in bold:

Message from [screen name here] 29, Male-Nashville, Tennessee :

Let's begin with the location- I live in New England. Having a relationship with someone in TN is really ambitious (I applaud anyone who can do that successfully).

I have never responded to personal ads (sure), but I read your profile and was intrigued. So I felt compelled to write and introduce myself. I am a young professional who strives to enjoy all the wonders this world has to offer. Four years ago abandoned my job as in the financial world and launched an internet venture capital firm. After the roller coaster ride I decided to continue my "trial by fire" learning and entered the chaotic world of healthcare. So now I travel all over the pursuing hospital acquisitions. This new endeavor consumes the majority of my time as one can imagine. But has been an amazing and wild experience. I can truly say that I learn something new every day. So I make the most of the limited free time I have. I work hard and play harder and need to find someone who can handle my intensity (how intense? like stalker intense?) and who thrives on spontaneity. When you have a chance I would like to learn more about you and what you're looking for.

-H.

If you wrote to introduce yourself, why sign it with just a letter?

Who do you think you are, Prince?
Is this an email or a cover letter?

And if you’re so intrigued why don’t you ask any questions about me?

Sounds like I’d just be another acquisition.

And so I decide to investigate further by checkingg out the accompanying profile:

A quote form his profile, ideal partner:

Someone who is just as comfortable in a formal evening gown at a prestigious social function one moment, then the next.. jeans and a t-shirt holding on to me tightly as we thunder down the road on my motorcycle... with the wind at our back.

Call me literal, but in my own experience riding

on a motorcycle the wind was slapping me right in the face.

Quotes Nietzsche in the What I've Learned From Past Relationships section.

I feel that most people do things like quoting famous, dead

philosophers to prove how smart they are.

I sense an inferiority complex for some reason…..

For more fun on this topic try Way Too Personal and this jdatersanonymous Q&A .

Lemur-iffic!

Anyone who knows me knows that I love lemurs (especially ringtailed lemurs). I have visited the lemurs at the Duke University Primate Center. It is not a place frequented by students from what I remember. Today I learned about the Trevor Zoo at Millbrook School, where the students get to interact with all sorts of creatures, but best of all, lemurs! How cool is that?
I am so jealous, why couldn't my hs have had lemurs?....all we had were damn Canadian geese that shit all over. The love of lemurs began when I saw Fierce Creatures, which I highly reccomend even if you're not a lemur fan. It is a very crerative, not quite sequel, to A Fish Called Wanda. They are just such cute and funny looking little creatures. Ringtails look like a cat, raccon, and monkey had a baby.

RNC

The roomie and I are currently watching a bits of the RNC on CPSAN. It seems so boring and stodgy compared to the DNC. Those Democrats seemed to party harder and better. It looked like those delegates were part of something exciting. By contrast the RNC reminds me of some kind of rote exercise from HS civics class. Though I hear Ah-nuld really got 'em going during his speech . I wonder how out of place poor Maria Shriver feels right about now? (And how does Teddy feel every time he glimpses her on TV?...bad enough she married a Republican, but she's at their bash!).


On a totally unrelated note, boys are gross sometimes.